Helping Children and Teens Manage Stress
Age-Appropriate Techniques for Young Minds
Stress speaking in a small kid can manifest as rolling on your floor or slamming toys, in pre-teens and teens as door-slamming and harsh accusations. Unlike grown-ups, children and teens are still learning to recognise stress and deal with it in more efficient ways.
If you are interested on learning more about stress for adults, at the workplace and also seniors, please have a look at this blog post: Stress Management - Balancing Home and Work.
Understanding Stress in Children
Just like adults, children experience stress—but they express and process it very differently. Understanding how stress manifests at different developmental stages is key to helping young minds build resilience and emotional regulation skills.
Stress management isn't one-size-fits-all for children. It evolves according to age, cognitive development, and sources of pressure. What works for a preschooler won't necessarily help a teenager, and recognizing these differences is crucial for effective support.
Early Childhood (Ages 3-5): Body-Based and Imaginative Responses
In preschool years, children have limited understanding of their emotions. Their stress primarily expresses itself through the body: restlessness, stomachaches, crying, screaming, or seeking comfort through familiar objects like thumbs or stuffed animals.
Techniques for this age group must be short, playful, and visual.
Effective Techniques for Preschoolers
Breathing Exercises Made Fun:
Belly breathing with a stuffed animal: Place a favorite toy on their tummy and watch it rise and fall like gentle waves
Flower and candle breathing: Smell the flower (deep inhale), blow out the candle (slow exhale)
Body-Based Activities:
Stretching like animals: Cat stretches, reaching up like a giraffe, or swaying like bamboo in the wind
Tension release games: Squeeze hands into fists then let go, or scrunch up the whole body then relax
Imaginative Techniques:
Weather check-ins: "How's the weather inside you today? Sunny, cloudy, or stormy?"
Magic safe place: Guide them to imagine a special, safe place in their mind where they can visit when upset
Simple body scans: "Let's say goodnight to our toes, our legs, our tummy..."
Comfort Tools:
Hugs and physical comfort when needed
Stress balls or fidget toys designed for small hands
Consistent comfort objects during stressful times
For Parents of Preschoolers
Your calm nervous system is their anchor. When you breathe slowly, they feel it. When you stay present with their storm without becoming the storm yourself, you teach them that feelings are safe to feel. Practice these techniques with them during calm moments—after breakfast, before bed—so they become familiar friends, not emergency strangers.
School Age (Ages 6-11): Building Emotional Vocabulary
Elementary school children begin to name their emotions and seek verbal support. School anxiety often becomes a significant source of stress during this period.
The goal is helping them feel secure, calm their bodies, and guide them toward self-regulation.
Techniques for School-Age Children:
Advanced Breathing Techniques:
Lumberjack breathing: Deep breath in, then "chop" the stress away with a forceful exhale - here as a short video
Box breathing: Breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4 (visualize drawing a box) - here another short video
Physical Release:
Shake it out: Literally shake hands, arms, legs, and whole body to release tension - have a look at this reel
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release different muscle groups (see the integrated reel for young children)
Mindful Practices:
Guided meditations: Short, story-based meditations appropriate for their attention span - try this meditation to improve the feeling of connection and world belonging
Mental safe place: More detailed visualization of a calm, safe space - for example under a tree
Body scan adventures: "Let's take a journey through our body and see how each part feels"
Grounding Techniques:
5-4-3-2-1 technique: Notice 5 things you see, 4 things you hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you taste
Calm-down kit: A special box with stress-relief tools, comfort items, and reminder cards
Gratitude Practices:
Daily gratitude: Think of one good thing that happened each day
Gratitude journal: Draw or write about positive moments
For Parents of School-Age Children:
Model the behavior you want to teach: When you're stressed, narrate your process out loud: "I'm feeling frustrated right now, so I'm going to take some deep breaths." Let them see you use these techniques in real time.
Create regular rituals: Maybe breathing exercises together before bed, or a Saturday morning body scan. Consistency helps children internalize these practices as natural responses rather than special interventions.
Make It Age-Appropriate: Keep sessions short and engaging. Use stories, games, and imagination to make stress management feel like play rather than work.
Adolescents (Ages 12-18): Quick and Expressive Techniques
Teenagers face intense social and academic pressure. While their attention spans are more developed, they're still fluctuating. Techniques need to be quick, flexible, and adapted to their need for expression and independence.
Teen-Friendly Approaches:
Efficient Breathing:
Box breathing or cardiac coherence: Quick 3-5 minute sessions - see this short on box breathing or this ones on cardiac coherence
Discrete breathing: Techniques they can use in classrooms or social situations
Relaxation Methods:
Express body scan: Quick mental check-ins with their physical state
Guided meditation: Slightly longer sessions, possibly with music
Calming playlists: Curated music for stress relief
Progressive muscle relaxation: This still works beautifully for teens, especially before sleep.
Movement and Physical Release:
Intense exercise: Running, dancing, martial arts, climbing—whatever lets them discharge the intensity they're carrying
Yoga: Many teens love the combination of physical challenge and mental calm, especially power or flow styles
Nature time: Even 20 minutes outside can reset their nervous system
Expression Outlets:
Journaling: Private space to process emotions and stress - check the gratitude journal
Quick writing: Stream-of-consciousness writing to release mental pressure
Creative outlets: Art, music, or movement to express and release stress
Social Connection:
Trusted conversations: Time with older cousins or trusted adults who listen without immediately trying to fix
Therapy if/when needed: Normalize this as a sign of strength, not weakness
Cognitive Strategies:
Thought challenging: At this age, they can begin to examine thought patterns. "Is this thought helpful? Is it based on facts or fears?"
Perspective taking: "Will this matter in a week? A month? A year?"
Mindful social media use: Help them notice how different accounts make them feel and curate their feeds accordingly
For Parents of Teens
Walk the fine line between respecting their autonomy and staying connected. Offer tools without forcing them. Share your own stress management practices without lecturing. Create low-pressure opportunities for connection—car rides, walks, cooking together—where conversations can unfold naturally. Most importantly, validate their stress without minimizing it. What feels like drama to you is their entire world. Honor that.
Building Resilience for Life
Teaching children stress management isn't just about handling immediate challenges—it's about building lifelong resilience skills. When children learn early that stress is manageable and that they have tools to cope, they develop confidence in their ability to handle life's ups and downs.
Remember that every child is unique. Some may respond better to physical techniques, others to imaginative approaches, and still others to more cognitive strategies. The key is offering a variety of tools and helping each child discover what works best for them.
Conclusion: Empowering Young Minds
Childhood stress is real, but it's also manageable with the right tools and support. By teaching age-appropriate stress management techniques, we empower children to understand their emotions, regulate their responses, and build the foundation for healthy stress management throughout their lives.
The goal isn't to eliminate stress from children's lives—that's impossible and wouldn't be beneficial. Instead, we aim to help them develop a healthy relationship with stress, seeing it as something they can manage and even use as motivation for growth and learning.
With patience, consistency, and the right techniques, we can help children transform stress from an overwhelming force into a manageable part of their emotional toolkit.
And the greatest gift is to show them that they are not alone in managing stress.
