Why welcoming our emotions is important for self-regulation ?
Welcoming, recognizing, and accepting our emotions without being overwhelmed by them is difficult. It is a lifelong learning process not to try to manage, control, or push away everything that moves through us, and not to categorize every emotion as “good” or “bad.”
Learning to listen to our emotions and to create a small pause between feeling and action is learning emotional self-regulation.Our emotions are not our enemies.
Bodily Signals: The First Language of Emotions
Have you noticed? Even before we can name what we are feeling, the body expresses it. Core emotions tend to manifest physically in the following ways (note: this can vary depending on individuals and life experiences):
Anger: heat, clenched jaw, tense shoulders
Sadness: heaviness, slumped posture, lack of energy
Fear: tight stomach, sensation of suffocation, trembling
Joy: lightness, openness in the chest, vitality
According to neuroscientist Antonio Damasio, bodily perception precedes emotional awareness. In other words, the body knows before the mind understands.
Source:
Damasio, A. (1994). Descartes’ Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam Publishing.
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/17769/descartes-error-by-antonio-damasio/
Identifying Emotions Without Judging Them
Close your eyes. Breathe. Sense what is happening. Do not try to change or push anything away. Then name the emotion that is present: “I feel sadness.”
Repeat if several emotions arise. Breathe. Sense. Welcome.
This is the first step: naming emotions supports emotional regulation.
Labeling an emotion activates the prefrontal cortex, particularly the right ventrolateral prefrontal cortex. Naming an emotion creates a cognitive “brake” on raw emotional responses.
The prefrontal cortex is the seat of executive functions—reasoning, decision-making, planning, and crucially, emotional regulation. Activating it shifts us from an automatic emotional reaction (driven by more primitive brain structures) to a cognitive appraisal of the emotion, allowing psychological distance.
Activation of the prefrontal cortex is correlated with a reduction in amygdala activity, the brain’s threat and fear detection center.
Source:
Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x
The Role of Mindfulness in Emotional Regulation
Mindfulness offers a powerful approach by transforming our relationship with emotions.
According to Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) program, mindfulness involves observing emotions without trying to modify them, seeing them as waves that rise and fall. Through practices such as the body scan, we learn to return our attention to the body and detect early signals of our internal states.
This approach cultivates key attitudes, including:
Curiosity: observing emotions without clinging to or identifying with them
Non-judgment: welcoming emotions without evaluation or attachment
Mindfulness activates the prefrontal cortex, offering a space where we can respond rather than react. It also helps us recognize that thoughts associated with emotions—judgments, interpretations—are mental events, not absolute reality.
Sources:
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living. Delacorte Press.
https://jonkabat-zinn.com/books/
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-Based Interventions in Context. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.
https://doi.org/10.1093/clipsy.bpg016
The Contribution of Yoga to Emotional Regulation
Yoga is a psycho-corporeal discipline originating in India that combines postures (āsanas), breathing exercises (prāṇāyāma), concentration, meditation, and ethical principles. Its aim is to harmonize body, breath, and mind.
Sources:
Desikachar, T.K.V. (1995). The Heart of Yoga. Inner Traditions.
Iyengar, B.K.S. (1966). Light on Yoga. Schocken Books.
Patañjali. The Yoga Sūtras.
The Central Role of Breath (Pranayama)
Breath regulation (prāṇāyāma) is the most direct regulatory tool in yoga. It acts on the autonomic nervous system. Research shows that specific breathing patterns can modulate internal states: longer, slower exhalations stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote calm.
Source:
Brown, R. P., & Gerbarg, P. L. (2005). Sudarshan Kriya Yogic breathing in the treatment of stress, anxiety, and depression. Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.
https://doi.org/10.1089/acm.2005.11.711
The Body as a Mirror
Postural practice (āsanas) reveals how emotions are held in the body. According to B.K.S. Iyengar, physical tensions indicate where emotional energy is blocked—often in the pelvis, abdomen, jaw, or shoulders. Working with these areas aims to restore emotional flow.
Source:
Iyengar, B.K.S. (2005). Light on Life. Rodale.
The Role of Chakras
Yoga structures emotional understanding through the concept of chakras, energy centers associated with emotional domains:
Root chakra (red): fear, safety, security
Sacral chakra (orange): pleasure, fluidity, emotional expression
Solar plexus chakra (yellow): confidence, anger
Heart chakra (green): love, grief, compassion
Through postures, breath, and meditation, yoga aims to harmonize these energies and prevent emotional stagnation and imbalance.
Note: The chakra model is a traditional framework, not a neuroscientific one, and should be understood as symbolic rather than anatomical.
The Contribution of Qigong to Emotional Regulation
Qigong offers a millennia-old perspective on emotional regulation rooted in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). Rather than suppressing or merely observing emotions, Qigong seeks to transform them into more neutral or balanced energy.
Gentle movement and conscious breathing help restore circulation where energy has become stagnant. By working with meridians and harmonizing the body, Qigong prevents emotional energy from becoming blocked (for example, anger associated with the Liver in TCM), allowing emotions to be experienced and released fluidly, supporting a return to internal balance.
Sources:
Cohen, K. S. (1997). The Way of Qigong. Ballantine Books.
Yang, J.-M. (1998). The Root of Chinese Qigong. YMAA Publication Center.
Simple Emotional Regulation Practices
Welcoming an emotion does not mean identifying with it. Saying “I feel anger” is not the same as “I am angry.” This small distance reduces rumination and is precisely what we train: staying present even in discomfort.
Emotional body scan (3–5 min): a mindfulness meditation bringing attention to different body areas, noticing sensations and naming what arises without judgment.
Colored breathing (5 min): associating breath with a color linked to an emotion and its corresponding chakra, to nourish the area and release tension.
STOP method (1 min): Stop – Take a breath – Observe – Proceed, a brief MBSR reset to create conscious pause.
Breathing tree (Qigong, 5 min): standing grounded, inhaling while lifting arms, exhaling while lowering them and visualizing the emotion dissolving into the ground.
Soothing touch / Self-compassion practice (3 min): placing hands on the heart and abdomen, breathing gently, acknowledging the emotion, and offering oneself kindness.
Source:
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study of a mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology.
https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.21923
Guidance for Parents
Young children (ages 3–7)
Talk in colors: “Where is your yellow anger?” or using a mood thermometer.
Breathing games: candle breath, gentle wind, dragon breath (try here the dragon appearing breath).
Children (ages 7–12)
The “emotion pause”: 3 breaths before responding.
Breathing technique such as the 3-part breath or anger relief breath.
Mini journal: “Today I felt… in my body…”
Emotion mind map game to identify feelings and build a regulation toolbox.
Teenagers
Remind them that emotion ≠ identity.
Use STOP in intense moments.
Short mindful walks.
Gratitude journaling: here an online version or printable.
At Work: Returning to Calm Quickly
30-second micro-pause: slow exhale, release the jaw, feel the feet, or try these breathes.
Return to bodily awareness before speaking.
Silently label: “stress,” “fear,” “irritation.”
This clarity reduces automatic reactions.
Conclusion
Welcoming our emotions—without judgment or attachment—creates space for living and acting more consciously.
Welcoming emotions is not about controlling or avoiding them. It is about learning, step by step, to create a small pause between what we feel and what we do. The body speaks first; mindfulness helps us listen; yoga and Qigong bring breath and movement back where things had become frozen.
Emotions are not problems to be solved; they are messages to be heard.
With a few minutes of attention, breathing, and self-kindness, it becomes possible to rediscover an inner calm that clarifies, soothes, and reconnects us with what truly matters.
For our children, this is a foundational skill for growing up grounded, resilient, and emotionally healthy throughout life.
